My Life

Someone told me that he was envious of my life yesterday.
I was indeed puzzled what brought on that comment but more so, it made me reflect on my life.

Looking at what I have now.....indeed most people will say I have something great.
Now what constitutes something great? A stable job? A healthy body? A loving family? A roof over my head?

Aside from the roof over my head and not having money woes, both of which are material,
how's my emotional status?

I told that person "You cant always have what you want no matter how much you yearn for it" and was told I should remember that.

Honestly, I live by that statement. Otherwise how else would have I have survived till today?
When I was young, I yearned to have my daddy beside me, to share in my academic achievements but daddy abandoned us when I was just 11 yrs old.
Too many other things that I yearned for over the years that I will not list down.
However, they shaped me. Having to deal with yearning for so much but not getting it. You learned how to cope with such emotional wants. I think I did pretty well.

The one thing that I will always yearn for everyday...is to have my younger bro back.
I go about my life...dealing with whatever onslaughts of attacks I face. The one big battle i faced everyday though...is having to cope with the loss of my healthy younger bro.

Most people will say...I should be thankful that he is alive. I am not.
It hurts to be reminded he is laying on the bed...unable to do much whilst I go about with my life.

Mentioning such things are not meant to dispute that person's envy of my life. I am equally envious of others' lives.

I am in a melancholic mood and my blog had just became very personal.